Wednesday, September 7, 2011

News Story 1

A crash between two tractor-trailers, at 6:45 a.m. this morning, led to a massive chain of car wrecks on the northbound lanes of Interstate 790 that has left two dead and 20 injured.

The survivors of the massive wreck, some of which had to be removed from their cars wrecked cars by the fire department, were taken to the hospital including two people who were in serious condition. The two most serious injured people were transported by “Life Flight” from the local Memorial Hospital helicopters from the to Statesvillie’s trauma center.

Sgt. Albert Wei of the local police department stated that wreck involved a total of four different tractor-trailers, including one carrying diesel fuel that, luckily, did not explode, and fourteen different cars. The police are still looking into the matter on what drivers were involved in the initial truck crash that started the chain due to difficulty in figuring out which drivers were in which vehicle.

Fire Chief Tony Sullivan says that this is the worst crash he has ever seen in his 18 and half years with the department. He said the wreck site looked like a “warzone” with bodies lying on the road and people covered in blood sitting next to the wreckage of their former vehicles. Sullivan also said that the four seriously hurt drivers had life-threatening level injuries.

The accident at the northbound lanes has led to further problems as the highway was still completely closed at 10 a.m. with no sign of reopening. This has caused problems as most of its usual traffic has shifted to Interstate 690 which, due to massive amount of new traffic, has been backed up for three hours.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Steven, I'm Nicole :) I'm going to school for a major in journalism and a minor in PR, and I'm 22. I figured I'd write a response to your first news article.

    You did a good job of including important information in your article. It seems like you might have struggled with trying to organize it into a smooth-flowing piece. The professor posted a couple power points that might help you with that.

    What I did was mostly preparation and organization. I sat down with a notebook for a few minutes and decided on one solid, main point for the article. After that, it got a lot easier to figure out how I was going to include the rest of the information.

    I hope this information helped :) If you want to discuss anything with me, I'd be happy to.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Steven, I like the length of your article and I can tell that put thought into which pieces of information went where. I do, however, think that proof-reading your article before posting it would be wise, as there are a few little mistakes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Steven, I think that you presented the information in an order that makes sense. First you introduced the accident and explained what happened and when. Then you wrote about the people involved and followed that with the quote from the police and the fire department. Finally you wrapped it up and closed the story.

    My only advice is that you seem to be a little "wordy" and might want to consider trying to be more concise in your writing. There are also a couple of sentences that seem to have redundant words or phrases that don't really make sense. The excerpt below looks like you may have written and then re-written the sentence but accidentally left in some of the original statement.

    "The survivors of the massive wreck, some of which had to be removed from their cars wrecked cars by the fire department"

    ReplyDelete